You Love, Feel Loved, But Loving Yourself is Hard

Theres only one guy that I have ever loved. I am so scared of getting hurt that I push away anyone who tries to get close to me.  I’m scared of that gut wrenching feeling of being completely vulnerable because I have been there before and someone just stomped over me.  The more I push people away the more isolated and alone I feel.  I dont mean to push people away its just that growing up there is always someone who took advantage of me, used me, humiliated, and made me feel really insecure.  All this poured over and made me keep to myself when I really like someone. Its ridiculous because I dont even have the balls to tell someone I like them.